Why Can't We Be Friends

When you have a hard time socializing and reading the social cues from others making friends and holding that bond is difficult. Through the years we have watched Johnathan try to form friendships. Johnathan has always preferred the company of adults over kids. Occasionally he will join another child in an activity but it has to be on his terms and engagement isn't always very long.

Johnathan is certainly liked by many of his classmates and most make an effort to communicate with him. Even students that aren't in his class know who Johnathan is and many say hi to him whenever they see him. Johnathan often doesn't acknowledge them. Part of me wonders is if he is processing the hi that by the time he could say hi they've passed. Also I think part of it is like I said he doesn't usually react as much to other kids. He's a little more likely to react if an adult says hello.

Johnathan has been blessed with 'buddies' that always reach out to him and initiate contact. The first few years of schooling Johnathan really showed no interest in other students. Most of the students would stay in their own space and did their work without taking notice of other students. 

Then Johnathan moved to a school that housed 2nd-4th grade and finally he built a few bonds. Each morning Johnathan would meet a classroom aide who would stay with him until they went into the school. Quickly I noticed that one boy started always standing with the aide in the morning. I was intrigued what was causing this behavior and started watching to see what would happen when Johnathan would join them. At first I noticed the other student would greet Johnathan and then walk away. As time passed I noticed that the other student wasn't leaving to go play with others anymore. He would continue to greet Johnathan each morning. As Johnathan got more comfortable with him they started giving each other a high five when they would see each other. As the year progressed Johnathan and the other student started to half hug when they greeted each other. Sometimes I still get a little misty eyed thinking about what a huge step in his life that was for Johnathan. 

As time passed Johnathan started building bonds with some other students. I loved getting messages like the one that showed Johnathan playing basketball with some classmates. Another student wrote that he was thankful that Johnathan was his friend. When he moved onto his next school he was back in a classroom that includes other students that he knew from his previous room. The benefit of his classroom is he is with familiar students each year. Johnathan has always used the name of his teachers and the teacher aides in his room. This year though when I ask who is in his classroom he has started to name his classmates too. 

Will Johnathan ever really build a strong bond with someone that they can be considered friends? Truthfully I don't know but seeing him build these little bonds makes me hopefully.