People Who Matter

It's interesting the things that go through your mind when you find out your child has autism. I remember thinking about how it would change our lives and wanting to give my child the best life we could. I didn't want Johnathan's diagnosis to overpower how people treated him. As you can imagine when Johnathan is having a rough day we get those judging looks from those that don't understand. I've come to expect them and for the most part I don't even pay attention anymore. Their opinions don't matter to us.

There was those whose opinions did matter to us though. Our families. We both come from families that are close. My family all live in the same town and we get together several times a month and talk almost daily. Jim's family is spread out but the bonds are strong among them also. When we realized that our families were going to have to learn about autism and what it meant for Johnathan we didn't know what to expect.

It didn't take long though for our families to let us know they were going to be an active part of Johnathan's journey. It's hard to put into words what it's been like to see our families embrace Johnathan for the unique person he is. There was never a doubt that they would love him because it's impossible not to love that boy. At the same time it's hard sometimes to see Johnathan in full meltdown. The happy go lucky boy gets lost in that cloudy abyss and we don't know how long until he'll make the journey back to his happy place. Their willingness to be a part of the journey no matter what reminded us how blessed we were.

 

Some of our family did research to learn more about autism. As a parent it meant a lot that they did this. It meant even more when they came to us to ask some question about exactly what it meant for Johnathan. Knowing that they realized that each child with autism is unique in their own ways was a blessing also. We had to learn about the different qualities that Johnathan had that defined who he was. We had to learn his triggers, his warning signs, and what worked best for him. It took time but we mapped out a picture of the ins and outs of Johnathan. Seeing members of our family taking time to do the same, sometimes hands on and sometimes just asking questions, reminded us how lucky we are.

 

The amount of support they have given when we were faced with tough decisions is unbelievable. When every choice you must make can impact your child's whole life you don't take those decisions lightly. I'm thankful that we had family that were willing to listen. Often we weren't looking for others opinions, we just needed someone to listen as we talked it out. I know there was times they wanted to speak up and give their opinion yet held their tongues because they knew we had to make our own decisions. 

The greatest thing was the amount of love they gave Johnathan no matter if it was a good day or a bad day. There were days when Johnathan's autism overwhelmed him and he just needed held. Family was there. There were days of  great success and accomplishments that caused our joy to overflow. Family was there too. No experience was too small, no feeling was overlooked, and no moment was downplayed.

It has been a blessing to watch Johnathan build bonds with members of our families. Johnathan loves his family and he shows his love in many ways. Be it great big hugs, fist bumps, or climbing onto their backs there is no denying those bonds. It's been great to hear Johnathan begin to use his voice to call people by their names. The bonds of family are forever and I'm thankful those bonds are growing each day for Johnathan.