A common myth is that anyone that has autism can not show affection to others. There is a good reason for this myth because due to sensory overload many with autism do not like to be touched and/or hugged. Prior to having Johnathan I had only worked with autistic students that had the 'no touch' rule in place. Any contact could be painful or just too overwhelming for this person with autism. It was hard to see these students trying to navigate their days while surrounded by a world that felt so overwhelming.
As I watched Johnathan show more signs of his autism my memories of these students were at the back of my mind constantly. Johnathan had always loved to cuddle and couldn't get enough of being close to us. I think that is how I 'fooled' myself for so long that it wasn't autism because Johnathan was so affectionate. Even now our days are filled with lots of time together cherishing our moments and making memories. When Johnathan is sensory seeking he seeks out hugs or squeezes from those around. Often it will be Jim and me that he comes to at home. At school it's his teachers and the classroom aides. When hugs and squeezes are not appropriate Johnathan likes to shake hands. These hand shakes are more of a strong squeeze then a real shake.
Again I know how fortunate we are that Johnathan can show us all the affection that he does. When the days get rough it's amazing that Johnathan can pick up up on this and offer extra love. That amazing feeling when he comes up and gives me a hug or a soft pat on the back.releases so much stress in our bodies. He not only shares his affection with us but others including several family members who are on his favorite peoples list. Others like the waitress whose hand he cuddled, our dog who gets her own hugs and kisses, and even those classmates that bring out bring out Johnathan's smiles even with he's feeling overloaded.
Sometimes Johnathan has rough days where he can't control the overload of his sensory input. I'm not going to lie that these days are easy to control. They aren't and we all come away exhausted and often quite drained. Still we know that tomorrow is another day. We can hope for a better day but if not we know we'll face it together. We know our child loves us and that he knows we love him. Maybe we don't get to always show it the same ways that others do but we do show it. Our son finds a way to show love that makes us so proud and hopeful. Those who are lucky enough to experience that love I hope it brings you the amazing hopeful and joy it brings to us.
Want to learn some more - here are some myths that are associated with Autism.
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