We were just starting to recognize Johanthan's delays when we found out we would be adding to our family. It was an emotional time for as we were preparing to go from one child to two children. We were full of questions of what the relationship between our children would be like. When Charles arrived Johnathan came with my parents to the hospital to meet his new brother. My mom still describes the moment as the ET greeting. Both boys looked at each other and started screaming. Soon enough they accepted each other and the brotherhood started.
Since Johnathan was diagnosed and the boys have grown the question at the back of our heads is 'Will our boys always be close even when we are gone?' To some this may be an overly, deep question but it is something we have to think about. Our boys are opposites in many ways. I always use the analogy that Johnathan is an iceberg and Charles is a mountain. To have met Charles is to know him. He holds nothing back when he is talking with others (even if it's inappropriate for discussion). He is loud, talkative, and wants to be the center of attention. Johnathan, on the other hand, has a lot that lies below the surface. He is quiet, thoughtful, and takes a while to accept people.
Many can easily list Charles' many great traits like his sense of humor, his care-free spirit, and his contagious laugh. Johnathan though is not as an easy read for people because so much stays 'hidden'.
Charles has gotten the short end of the straw sometimes because of Johnathan's needs. Sometimes we have to cut an event short because Johnathan has had enough. Sometimes Charles has to do things he doesn't want to because the rest of us are doing it. Sometimes when Johnathan becomes frustrated Charles is the one that he takes his frustration out on. Does things like this upset Charles? Yes! Does he voice this displeasure with us? Yes! But does it make him love his brother any less? NO!
I always tell people that my boys strive on their love/hate relationship. There is one more thing they strive on: no one messes with their brother. Charles will stand up to anyone that does something mean to his brother. It doesn't matter if they say something, do something, or look cross at Johnny you can bet Charles will be there to 'protect' his brother. Johnathan does not like people picking on his brother either. Even if we are teasingly picking on Charles you can bet Johnathan will step in to stop it. When Charles and his cousin, Parker are playing wrestling they have to keep an eye out for Johnathan because he doesn't let anyone pick on his brother (except himself of course).
We don't know what the future really holds for either of our boys. That has become a harsh reality the past 12 years as new challenges has been thrown our way. All we know is at the end of each day we remain a strong family that loves each other deeply and nothing will come between that love. Our boys are our blessing and their closeness and friendship is their blessings. Having a sibling with autism isn't easy and yet Charles doesn't let it affect him. He is a strong kid who is wise beyond his years and understands things that most kids don't. It was definitely God's plan to make these two brothers and I'm thankful for the beautiful bond that brings them together.
The wonderful thing about the boys is that they share a bond that is forever. Charles often tells us that no matter what he'll always make sure Johnathan is taken care of. As a parent hearing your child say that, knowing what it really means can make you very emotional. Knowing your child is willing to make a place in his life for his brother no matter what happens is a true blessing. I guess I shouldn't be surprised though because Johnathan lets Charles into 'his world' to explore and learn about him often. I will find them sitting together laughing and playing. Charles goes out of his way to include Johnathan in games he is playing, sharing his toys, and even picking out things he knows Johnny will like. Some days they fight, some days they are inseparable, and every day they remind me they can be typical brothers.
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