Are You Sleeping?

People are always surprised when they find out how 'late' my boys go to sleep and how 'late' they wake up in the morning. I figured this would be a great time to explain what it's like for us having a child with a crazy sleep schedule.

When Johnathan was born we were very blessed to have a baby that was a good sleeper. Most nights when we put him down he would wake only once to be fed and changed before going back to sleep. I wish that trait had continued while he grew but we were in for many long sleepless nights ahead.

As Johnathan started to grow he hit many growth spurts and they would all wear him out so much. Many days he would sleep most the day away. As a mom I appreciated these naps because I was able to do things around the house. I quickly learned that this was not a good thing because it made for many late nights.

Many days he would wake up from his naps and be refreshed. The problem was that this meant he didn't want to go to sleep until 11:00 at night. Now being that Jim and I are both night owls this wasn't always a problem because that was around when we would usually go to bed. Now going to bed that late meant that he usually slept in each morning. Sometimes he might sleep until 9 or later in the morning.

 As he continued to grow we learned the problems that this sleep schedule would cause. If we would put Johnathan to bed any earlier in the evening his body would treat this rest as a nap. It would never fail - he'd wake up and be up most the night. Being an exhausted mom who had to stay up with him wasn't easy. Remember he was non-verbal so there was no way for him to tell me that he wasn't tired. The other thing I learned was he was super sneaky. He'd wait for me to start drifting off and he'd be up and wondering around the house. When Johnathan would finally settle down it would only be if he could sleep next to one of us. I remember countless nights sleeping on couches or even the floor in Johnathan's room.

I look back on those sleepless nights and I would go back in an instant to enjoy those times with my little boy again. Together we learned the ins and outs of his schedule to assist us in making the best choices to help him get his needed sleep. Being a stay at home mom for the most part at that time gave us the opportunity to have a pretty open schedule. I'm sure that was probably the worst thing for him because we often didn't follow much of a schedule. I remember those endless days when I was pregnant with Charles and could barely function. I think that deep down Johnathan knew there were some major changes coming and it made him very clingy.

After Charles was born we had to start getting on a little more of a schedule. Charles was not as easy to get on a schedule and demanded a lot more of Mom's attention. Having a surgery a month after Charlie's birth also affected my ability to being there 24/7 for Johnathan. Johnathan mostly moved out of his room to sleep out in the living room with me or into the bed with Jim. With Johnathan starting the preschool we had to start adjusting Johnathan's schedule. He was in the afternoon class so he was still able to sleep in but now we had to structure his afternoon napping to prevent the 'night time parties'. This was not easy because Johnathan still needed his afternoon naps and did not like being woken up from them.

 By the time he started Kindergarten we knew we were going to be in for a struggle. We worked on adjusting his bedtime to earlier in the evening so he'd be a little more awake in the morning. This was a struggle easily trying to find the perfect time that he'd not wake up after an hour or two thinking he was just napping. Going from two hours of preschool to a full day of Kindergarten was also tough for him. He'd be so exhausted by the end of the day and still needed to nap. Several times I'd get the call from school that he had fell asleep and they couldn't get him to wake back up. By the time he got to 1st grade we had ended the naps after school but there were still sporadic days of falling asleep at school or early in the evening. When this happened it usually meant he'd be up in the middle in the night or looking for someone to stay with him during the night.

As the years have passed we have learned ways to adjust to Johnathan and his crazy, sporadic sleep patterns. We know it's important for him to get his sleep because it greatly alters his body and emotions control. It's important to put his needs ahead of ours sometimes. Here's a rundown of Johnathan sleep facts. 

     - We have learned that Johnathan is one that can sleep almost anywhere. (The pictures above are two examples: the 1st one was during a stock car race at LaSalle Speedway and the 2nd was during an auction) Sometimes it's nice that he can do this because that nap may be needed to get him 'back on track'. Sometimes it's not - like when he falls asleep on the cooler that we need to get into to get our drinks out.   

    - Johnathan takes an anxiety medication that one of the side effects is sleepiness. Since he began taking it we have noticed him sleeping more. Sometimes he'll nap half the day and then still sleep through the night. Some times he'll fall asleep at school and we must make the decision if he'll benefit staying at school or if it's better for him to come home and try again tomorrow. Last year Johnathan was doing half days of school and would come home, have lunch, and then take a nap before doing anything else. With us being quarantined at home right now he has certainly been sleeping a lot more.
     - To add to his tiredness we are also dealing with his crazy growth spurts still. At age 12 he is already 5'6'' and continues growing taller. Sometimes it's like he goes to sleep and wakes up several inches taller.
     - Charles and Johnathan shared a room for many years. They both had a twin bed for a long time but as they got more stuff and needed more room they switched to a bunk bed. This was a great idea because Charles couldn't climb up on top so each boy had their own space. We quickly discovered a problem though. On the nights when Johnathan couldn't get to sleep he would climb down the side and into bed with Charles. Charles was not a fan of brother trying to cuddle in his bed though. We decided to move Johnathan into our office so the boys would each have their own room.
     - This brings us to our present situation. Johnathan has a nighttime routine that we do with him each night to help him settle and go to sleep. He has a radio that we turn on because he sleeps better with it. He also has a fan that has to be turned on to blow on him during the night. He has a weighted blanket plus his other blankets on his bed. He usually does good with sleeping once he's had his nighttime routine.
     - On the nights that sleep just doesn't seem to want to come he'll leave his room. Sometimes he goes across the hall to climb in bed with his brother. (Charles is still not a fan of this). Most the nights when he can't sleep I'll awake to him standing next to our bed. For awhile I would attempt to get Johnathan back to his room but usually he'd be back in our room or I'd find him asleep on the couch. I'm someone that sleeps pretty good anywhere as long as I have my blanket and am comfortable. Therefore I usually will give up my spot in our bed. Johnathan enjoys that comfort that someone is there so he sleeps well. Lately as the weather changes and our schedules are off Johnathan has been doing this a lot more. We are use to this so we continue to make adjustments and strive to meet his needs without giving up our own comfort.

As I've said many times before we don't know what the future holds. Johnathan will be a part of our household for as long as he needs to be here. If I need to give up my spot in my bed sometimes than so be it. If I need to cuddle with a sleepy boy every so often; I'm happy to do it. It's not a perfect world but it's our world!